The Promise
by Adarian
Summary: After a significant change in his relationship with the Warden, Sten must examine his priorities and decide what he wants his life to be. Written for a kink-meme request.


Sten woke early in the morning, his heart beating far too fast in his chest. He moved gently, trying not to wake her. As he sat up, trying to catch his breath, she stirred, reaching her hand out to touch his.

"What's wrong?" She murmured as she opened her eyes, pulling the blankets around her as she sat up. She touched his arm and he relented for a moment, turning to face her as his heart pounded.

"I need some air," he said quietly, kissing her forehead hastily before standing to his feet. He watched her sleepily curl into the blankets again; taking up the space he had kept warm. He threw his shirt over his head before walking out into the winter's morning.

The cold hit him almost immediately, a strange relief as his body slowed, returning to its usual rhythm as he walked through the woods. He walked until he reached a creek, the water trickling by under a thin sheet of ice. He knelt, breaking the ice with his fingers. He cupped his hands, drinking deeply before washing his face.

He heard the call of a hawk and he watched the creature with interest. It landed on a tree across the water from him, watching him in return before preening its feathers. Its passivity disturbed him. Sten rose and threw a rock at the branch, causing the bird to fly away in fright. The hawk should recognize another predator, Sten justified to himself as he stood, it was it's own fault that it did not follow its nature.

He felt his hands shake slightly and he bowed his head, the words of an old chant passing through his lips as he knelt into the snow. But the meditation could not clear his mind, not allow the feelings to pass through him without pain. He thought of the woman lying in his tent, of her soft skin against his, of her bright green eyes as she said his name.

He had abandoned his ideals for her. For months he had pulled her into his bed, brought her beneath him as she laughed happily. For months he had known that he was compromised. For once in his life, he had put his own desires ahead of the Qun. It was something that he had pushed aside, that he had not forced himself to confront. Even when Asala was brought back to him and his return secured, he still could pretend that he would die before returning to Seheron, that no decision need be made.

But now...now...he could not put this decision off any longer.

He knew he could not linger here in the forest. He did not like to leave her without knowing she was guarded. She was a capable woman...but he had seen fierce warriors fall before. He was sworn to protect her, a duty he would never take lightly.

He had just needed a moment, a single moment to clear his thoughts. But even now, he felt drawn to her, a compulsion to be by her side once again. It felt like an illness, an obsession, but he had succumb long enough ago that he no longer fought it.

He made his way back, the camp stirring as the day broke around them. He returned into the tent, seeing her dressing into her shift, her long black hair tangled around her face. She smiled softly, pulling the material into place before bending to grab her armour.

Nothing about her had changed since last night. It was the same body in transition from soft to hard, from woman to warrior. Yet it seemed more delicate, more fragile as he took her hands in his, easily engulfing them as he bent his head down.

She did not say a word for a few moments, letting the quiet envelop them both.

She replied quietly, "I know you, Sten. I know you can't talk to me about it. How could I possibly understand? You're alone here. Maybe this...whatever this is wouldn't have happened otherwise. As much as I can try...I'm not part of the Qun. I don't want you to have to give up everything there is about yourself for some...for me. For..."

The words trailed off and Sten knew what followed. She would not be able to remain in the Wardens after the Blight...if either of them survived. And what life would follow then? Would she return then to the destroyed Alienage? And for what? To raise a child alone in poverty? To raise his child alone.

He had seen the children outside of the Alienage playing. He had disparaged the idea, but watching her among them, with her father, it became so much realer to him. Families were not entirely uncommon among the Qun, particularly those in outlying territories. Even if it was not how he was raised, he saw her happiness, and he could understand-

_Nehraa Koslun_, he thought to himself, _Have I forsaken even certainty? Even purpose? _

His mouth was dry as he said softly, "I must accept the consequences of my actions."

She laughed, "Thanks, so romantic."

"You...you misunderstand," Sten replied, bringing his hands back to his side, "I do not know how to be a father. It is not the way of my kind. I know what it is to be a warrior...but I...I understand. I cannot go back to Seheron. I am bound to you as I am to Asala. Kadan...how I feel is not how a Qunari is meant to feel. It is hard to believe and to follow you into this...but I cannot abandon you. I cannot leave you."

"I could go to Seheron," she said quietly, "We could start over."

He swallowed and shook his head, "No. There is much war there...it is not a peaceful place for an infant. Perhaps there is no safe place. I miss my country but...I..."

"Sten," she murmured, "Are you sure?"

He admitted, "For the first time in my life, I am uncertain of most things."

He resisted slightly as she held him, her body pressed to his as she curled her head under his chin. His hand strayed to her hip, his thumb running over the edges of her belly.

"I do not know if I can provide what you want," he said quietly, "I am what I am, kadan. I am not of your kind...I am not even certain-"

"Not certain of what?"

"Ah, pashaara," Sten groaned as he cupped her face and kissed her.

She stood, stunned as they opened their eyes, tearing at the other's clothes as they tumbled to the ground, Sten's hand supporting her back as they laid.

He cupped her face as he kissed her, hesitating slightly before she murmured, "You won't hurt her."

His hand trembled as he said quietly, "I will not take that chance."

She chuckled, lying in his arms as he cradled her body. He held her close, keeping his hands on her back as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I will get you both through this Blight," he promised, "You have my word."

"I don't know if you can promise that," she said sadly, tracing her fingers down his cheek.

He cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her. Before his lips pressed against hers, he whispered, "You have my word."


End file.
